A 69-year-old man lies in a dusty coffin sucking his thumb. He pulls it out, tells a corny joke and emits a loud, hideous laugh.
What would make him do it? Well, for Lawson Deming, better known as Sir Graves Ghastly, it is fun, fame and adequate fortune.

This is Deming's 50th year in broadcasting and his 16th year as the very popular vampire host of WJBK's Saturday afternoon horror movie. For Deming, Sir Graves is merely the cap of a long career in theater, radio and television.

Deming, who has lived in and around Cleveland all his life (he travels twice monthly to Detroit to tape his shows) describes himself as conservative, "not shy, but not a social mixer." He is a man who likes to tell jokes on and off camera.

Deming, 5-feet-5 1/2 with lead gray hair and a long face, seems to wear a smile naturally. While he is generally jovial, he can be quite serious. In one minute he'll tell one of his beloved shaggy dog stories, like the one about the mad scientist who was trying to get rid of a foul-mouthed clone he had created by shoving the clone out of a window. Thus the scientist was making an obscene clone fall.

A minute later, Deming will discuss the threats that nuclear armament and wind erosion pose to world security .

Deming, who grew up in Cleveland and went to college at Western Reserve where he studied speech, drama and math, began his radio career in his hometown in 1932 at WHK, where he met his wife, Mary Rita, the hostess of a woman's talk show. (They've been married 43 years, and have four sons.)

"The greatest fun, really, was radio. Especially when we did plays, because you were creating, audio-wise, something in somebody's mind. With voices, dialogue, music and sound effects, we created a whole world."

He is dismayed that radio plays declined because of what he calls the "boob tube," but he'll admit that he was interested in television very early. In fact, he took one radio job in Cleveland with an NBC owned-and-operated station with the hope of landing a job with NBC's TV outlet: "TV was the coming medium," he said, "and I saw it coming."

Deming first went on television in 1949 as the host of "One O'Clock Playhouse" in Cleveland. The program was a regular broadcast of TV plays.

It was work on a Cleveland children's program called "Woodrow the Woodsman" that brought Deming to Detroit and WJBK late in 1966 when the show was moved here for taping. Deming was puppeteer on the show. His face did not appear on the screen, but he supplied the stage voices of such characters as Freddy Gezundheit the Alleycrock, Tarkington Whom II the Owl and Voracious the Elephant. He still does the voices when prompted.

Soon after Woodrow began taping at WJBK, Deming was approached about playing a horror movie host named Ghoulardi. But because Ghoulardi was already being done in Cleveland by Ernie Anderson, Deming suggested he create his own character.

The "Sir Graves Big Show" was born in 1967. Since then Deming has created several additional characters including "Reel McCoy," a character that digs up old horror-film features on the program. Among his other characters are the Glob, an upside down mouth that sings in the corner of the screen; Walter, Sir Graves' alter ego, and Tillie Trollhouse, a zany lady.

"When my wife first saw me do Tillie, she said, "I don't know how you have the nerve,' " Deming said.

He is every character on the show. He does more than haunt the screen and spout silly jokes that are sent in by viewers. He makes up his own lines and delivers them without a TelePrompter, the electronic replacement for cue cards.

The show features viewers' drawings of various monsters. "We peruse the drawings carefully," Deming said as he thumbed a stack of 400. He explains that some young artists make their drawings anatomically too correct for children's programming.

The show also runs the names of viewers celebrating their birthdays. Both Deming and director Jerry Christener get a laugh out of men and women in their 30s and 40s who submit their names for the birthday rolls. Christener notes that such people are regular viewers, that Sir Graves' audience "is not primarily children."

Indeed, Nielsen and Arbitron rating figures show that more than half the viewers are 18 and older. Also, Sir Graves is the ratings champion in his 1 p.m. Saturday time slot, reaching 235,000 viewers and regularly topping all comers other than live telecasts of sporting events.

But what of the film fare Deming serves up every Saturday? He is a fan of horror film, but he doesn't watch the films every week.

"I've seen them all too many times," Deming explained. He prefers older horror films. "I like monster movies that are well-produced. Not sensational, bloody movies, but old ones where the violence is in your head."

Deming likes it when children recognize him in public. He says it is his bulbous nose that gives him away. "People love Sir Graves, " he said, "and I love people."

Deming is well liked at Channel 2. WJBK producer-director Jay Frommert describes Deming as "one of the truly nice people in our industry."

"He's very intelligent, easy to work with, and patient," Frommert said. "He is a professional. He comes in ready to work. When Lawson comes in to tape . . . it's always fun."

Frommert thinks the show's success is attributable to the mixture of film and silliness. "We like to see how corny we can get and still get away with it," he said. "Sometimes we reach the limit."

Christener describes Deming as "a super individual. He is a very talented, very intelligent, well read person."

Of his long career in broadcasting, Deming is proud. Still, he says, "Eventually, I'd like to get back into theater."

He said broadcasting has treated him well. "I didn't get rich, but I had fun doing it. If I had it to do all over again, I'd do it all over again."

At 69, Deming could pass for 55. On the show, he wears makeup, a wig and false facial hair along with his vampire costume. This disguise plus his youthful jokes (What did the Frankenstein monster say after he ate the six-cylinder engine? Wow, I could've had a V8) may also make him seem younger.

But at 69, what's next -- another 50 years in the business? "Maybe five," says Deming.

The interview is nearly over, except for another joke: "What's the favorite meal of sea monsters? Fish and ships."

And then a warm farewell from Sir Graves: "Happy haunting, my boy."

Copyright ©1982 Detroit Free Press Inc. All rights reserved.

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